So did Cinderella manage to hang onto Prince Charming after that fateful kiss, many of you will want to believe that yes they are living blissfully happily ever after.
I on the other hand believe that Cinders is now a single mother of 4 living in a council house in a run down estate, relying on benefits after her"prince" developed a addiction to cocaine, got written out of his families wills and was left toothless and broke.
Or at least that red riding hood didn't develop Post Traumatic Stress after her run in with the big bad wolf, or Rapunzel didn't get alopicia after being locked for so long in solintarty confinement in a tower, or Sleeping Beauty wasn't so taken aback by the advantages of modern technology that she had to be sectioned on the mental health act due to her fear of mobile phones!
I want to believe in the happily ever after endings but we don't live in a land far far away, most of us live in a house that does get dirty and need cleaned on our days of work, not in a fairytail castle that has a magical staff so you never have to lift a finger ever again!
No one ever argues over the small stuff like why do I always have to do the grocery shopping, why does my husband always complain about having to pick up the dog poo from the garden, why we always have a struggle with who has the most duvet at night.
Don't get me wrong we all live for the moments that don't come along that often when for a fleeting second our lifes resemmble a fariytail, it's st times like these that we remeber how good life can be and you have to have the bad times to really appreciate the great times. I want the reality, not the fairytail that some people pretend is their life, I want the arguements, the tears, the joys, I want it all and I'm glad (most days) that that is that I have
I wouldn't change my life with a Princess's to me and me only it's pretty near perfect!
Sunday, 21 October 2012
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
Memories
As I get older I am starting to remember my youth with (gigantic) rose tinted glasses, how the summers lasted forever and never rained, all those lost hours playing in your garden and if you were lucky enough your dad put the sprinkler on for you and every child in the neighbourhood to run through completely ignoring the hosepipe ban. There were no concerns about health and safety or getting the cold or even getting dirty ( if you had no grass stains on your knees your were no fun)
In reality I'm sure it was more like you had 2 maybe 3 days of sunshine were you got burned to a crisp as no one ever used sun cream and the nearest we got was if your mum had a bottle of baby oil in her bedside cabinet ( we don't need to know why it was there) the only protection we had from the sun was when you started to blister your mum made you put on a t-shirt.
We had so much freedom, being allowed to go out on your bike with the only rule being "make sure you're home when it gets dark".
I'm sure it was easier to be a parent back then when if you were (allegedly) cheeky in a supermarket no one blinked an eye when you got a stinging slap round the back of the legs that meant you had to finish the shopping with a bright red hand mark that was the tell tale sign that you had been bad across both your legs, other parents actually smiled at my mum when this happened ( my mum's favourite line was "no point waiting until you get home to slap you I would have forgotten what I was slapping you for")
School holidays stretched for eternity, until the dreaded school shoe shop that always ended with a stinging slap ( again) because I didn't want the (in my opinion) shoes that make you look like you had a club foot, I always ended up with the club foot shoes anyway!
But I loved being a kid in the 80's, we had no real worries apart from the stopper on your roller boots was wearing down too quickly, or that you mum wouldn't let you rip your skirt of like the girls from Buck's Fizz or that your leg warmers has shrunk in the wash.
It really was a simpler time, we had 1 hours of kids TV a day which was Grange Hill or Playschool and apart from that the 1 TV in the house was controlled by your Dad when he got in from work( my dad was lord and master)
I'm glad that I have those rose tinted glasses on because it makes me smug when I see kids now not being able to enjoy their imaginations like we did ( a tic tac box was the perfect walkie talkie) maybe in another 25 years I will remember how lovely the summers where in 2012!!!
In reality I'm sure it was more like you had 2 maybe 3 days of sunshine were you got burned to a crisp as no one ever used sun cream and the nearest we got was if your mum had a bottle of baby oil in her bedside cabinet ( we don't need to know why it was there) the only protection we had from the sun was when you started to blister your mum made you put on a t-shirt.
We had so much freedom, being allowed to go out on your bike with the only rule being "make sure you're home when it gets dark".
I'm sure it was easier to be a parent back then when if you were (allegedly) cheeky in a supermarket no one blinked an eye when you got a stinging slap round the back of the legs that meant you had to finish the shopping with a bright red hand mark that was the tell tale sign that you had been bad across both your legs, other parents actually smiled at my mum when this happened ( my mum's favourite line was "no point waiting until you get home to slap you I would have forgotten what I was slapping you for")
School holidays stretched for eternity, until the dreaded school shoe shop that always ended with a stinging slap ( again) because I didn't want the (in my opinion) shoes that make you look like you had a club foot, I always ended up with the club foot shoes anyway!
But I loved being a kid in the 80's, we had no real worries apart from the stopper on your roller boots was wearing down too quickly, or that you mum wouldn't let you rip your skirt of like the girls from Buck's Fizz or that your leg warmers has shrunk in the wash.
It really was a simpler time, we had 1 hours of kids TV a day which was Grange Hill or Playschool and apart from that the 1 TV in the house was controlled by your Dad when he got in from work( my dad was lord and master)
I'm glad that I have those rose tinted glasses on because it makes me smug when I see kids now not being able to enjoy their imaginations like we did ( a tic tac box was the perfect walkie talkie) maybe in another 25 years I will remember how lovely the summers where in 2012!!!
Monday, 11 June 2012
Lost Mojo
I lost my mojo after eating a Corndog!
What is a Corndog I hear you asking (ok in my pretend world you asked) it is a frankfurter hot dog wrapped in corn bread and then deep fried, yes I know it sounds disgusting and yes it was disgusting but I think that they must have sprinkled in some heroin as I can't stop thinking about it.
So after the deep fried bread wrapped sausage I came home from holidays and decided to start/restart the healthy eating AGAIN. So they is now no pleasure in anything that I do,
I have given up
DIET COKE -my real 1 true love
ALCOHOL - can't cope with the hangovers anymore
CARBS- my trainer at the gym says they are bad
EATING OUT- can't resist the lovely things on the menu
LAUGHING- read the above list and you will know why
CHOCOLATE- life is now officially over
CRISPS- what is the point of living
How I wish that my every thought wasn't about food, that I don't go to bed dreaming about being able to eat another corndog without worrying that my arteries will explode how I wish that 1 thing will be enough.
I'm an all or nothing kind of girl so I have to give it my all it's the way I was made, so I will go to the gym 4 times a week and live on leaves and stay quiet on twitter because my life has become so dull that even if I type a tweet and then reread it I automatically delete so as not to cause others to harm themselves out of despair!
It is a short blog as you have realised that I have been nowhere done nothing, so that is it until I break into the emergency chocolate and get my mojo back!!!!!
What is a Corndog I hear you asking (ok in my pretend world you asked) it is a frankfurter hot dog wrapped in corn bread and then deep fried, yes I know it sounds disgusting and yes it was disgusting but I think that they must have sprinkled in some heroin as I can't stop thinking about it.
So after the deep fried bread wrapped sausage I came home from holidays and decided to start/restart the healthy eating AGAIN. So they is now no pleasure in anything that I do,
I have given up
DIET COKE -my real 1 true love
ALCOHOL - can't cope with the hangovers anymore
CARBS- my trainer at the gym says they are bad
EATING OUT- can't resist the lovely things on the menu
LAUGHING- read the above list and you will know why
CHOCOLATE- life is now officially over
CRISPS- what is the point of living
How I wish that my every thought wasn't about food, that I don't go to bed dreaming about being able to eat another corndog without worrying that my arteries will explode how I wish that 1 thing will be enough.
I'm an all or nothing kind of girl so I have to give it my all it's the way I was made, so I will go to the gym 4 times a week and live on leaves and stay quiet on twitter because my life has become so dull that even if I type a tweet and then reread it I automatically delete so as not to cause others to harm themselves out of despair!
It is a short blog as you have realised that I have been nowhere done nothing, so that is it until I break into the emergency chocolate and get my mojo back!!!!!
Thursday, 26 April 2012
The making of a baby (no sex involved)
So today we handed over a great deal of money to a clinic in the hope that they will make us a baby!
For a lot of you out there getting pregnant is as simple as it sounds,
Boy meets girl
Boy and girl get it on
Baby is born 9 months later
Who knows if boy and girl are still together, or if they are if they will stay together, but they will always have a bond that will never be broken, a child!
To me a females 1 role in life apart from working, cooking, cleaning, shopping, running your husband's life ( i said running not ruining) is to have a baby, it's an inbuilt yearning that you can suppress for a while then it rears it ugly ticking biological clock like face to punch you in the stomach.
So we are nearly ready to get back onto the roller coaster of IVF for the 4th time with a lot less hope and even less money, to pump myself full of hormones, that make me want to pump my fist into any ones face, to give myself daily injections and many very early morning trips to the clinic to be poked and prodded by many Doctors and nurses (not in a nice way) to not even be guaranteed a positive outcome.
But I have HOPE because if I didn't what is the point of getting out of bed, of making plans, of just living!
Sometimes you have just got to go with the flow and if it doesn't work I'll pick myself up again put my lipstick on (no mascara might still cry) and get on with living my pretty fab life that we have built together.
So before we start we are off on a last big holiday to Orlando to indulge our inner child before we (hopefully) have to grow up and become parents!
For a lot of you out there getting pregnant is as simple as it sounds,
Boy meets girl
Boy and girl get it on
Baby is born 9 months later
Who knows if boy and girl are still together, or if they are if they will stay together, but they will always have a bond that will never be broken, a child!
To me a females 1 role in life apart from working, cooking, cleaning, shopping, running your husband's life ( i said running not ruining) is to have a baby, it's an inbuilt yearning that you can suppress for a while then it rears it ugly ticking biological clock like face to punch you in the stomach.
So we are nearly ready to get back onto the roller coaster of IVF for the 4th time with a lot less hope and even less money, to pump myself full of hormones, that make me want to pump my fist into any ones face, to give myself daily injections and many very early morning trips to the clinic to be poked and prodded by many Doctors and nurses (not in a nice way) to not even be guaranteed a positive outcome.
But I have HOPE because if I didn't what is the point of getting out of bed, of making plans, of just living!
Sometimes you have just got to go with the flow and if it doesn't work I'll pick myself up again put my lipstick on (no mascara might still cry) and get on with living my pretty fab life that we have built together.
So before we start we are off on a last big holiday to Orlando to indulge our inner child before we (hopefully) have to grow up and become parents!
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Obsessions
I seem to have developed an unhealthy fascination with Gary Lightbody on twitter (he's the man who sings with snow patrol) I think I've maybe listened to their new album too much and can identify with so many of the lyrics.
It might be that as we are from the same hometown and are the same age I just get it, now before you tell him he needs to get a restraining order against me, relax, I'm reasonably level headed (if you exclude PMT) but I may need to unfollow him just so I stop the tweets that scream " look at me, notice me"
I think that if he maybe just writes a song about me I'll let it go, oh and maybe a dedication on his new album, oh maybe let's me sing on stage at his next concert (I don't ask for much) i will move on quietly to my next victim!
Am I the only girl ( can I still get away with girl at 36?) who is instantly turned off by overtly attractive men?
Weird as that question might sound and I feel the need to apologise to Mr Lightbody and indeed my husband, I find men who THINK they are stunning/the dogs bollocks awful. Men who rely on their looks forget how to build their personalities forget the art of conversation, forget that it's not all about them.
I love a man to make me laugh, I love that moment when someone becomes so much more attractive when you start to see their personality shinning through, someone who can just as quickly laugh at themselves as laugh at others, I love a man who's passionate about things (sports do not count) who can cry, who can listen, who can step up when others take a step back.
This is what I am lucky to get from my husband and as we are only weeks away from celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary I count myself lucky that I gave the shy, short, cute, sparkly eyed wee boy a chance 14 years ago on a blind date.
Didn't mean for this blog to become a lovefest for Joe but you start blogging and that's obviously what's on my mind!
Friday, 6 April 2012
Catching up!
Well it's been a while since I last blogged as I've rediscovered my love of reading (thanks in part to my new kindle).
I love to lose myself in an imaginary world for hours/days and for some strange reason I had forgotten how gratifying reading is.
I think my iPad or just general love of gadgets has played a part in my memory slip, I seemed to spent hours on twitter, writing scathing comments on everything on television and replying to others equally scathing comments and realised how I actually find it easier to be cruel than to be kind.
It's not nice to notice how many nasty things I say, but in my defence I think I'm hilarious ( others might not be so amused with me ) so if you don't like it you know what to do.
Well it's a bank holiday weekend and I
Still here working making the people look beautiful as best I can, just remember when you go for you next appointment to get your hair done and bring in a picture of Angelina Jolie it's not going to happen as even extensive cosmetic surgery will only get you looking like Courtney Love so a haircut isn't going to touch the sides. Please be realistic about how you look and take onboard your stylists advice ( we really do know best)
If you have ever been into my salon you will know how down to earth we all are, there is no hard sell on products, if you like it you'll buy it next time. I can't bear pushy sales people in salons, you are meant to be able to make your hair look somewhat similar to how I've done it without having to spend a small country's defence budget on recreating it!
I love to lose myself in an imaginary world for hours/days and for some strange reason I had forgotten how gratifying reading is.
I think my iPad or just general love of gadgets has played a part in my memory slip, I seemed to spent hours on twitter, writing scathing comments on everything on television and replying to others equally scathing comments and realised how I actually find it easier to be cruel than to be kind.
It's not nice to notice how many nasty things I say, but in my defence I think I'm hilarious ( others might not be so amused with me ) so if you don't like it you know what to do.
Well it's a bank holiday weekend and I
Still here working making the people look beautiful as best I can, just remember when you go for you next appointment to get your hair done and bring in a picture of Angelina Jolie it's not going to happen as even extensive cosmetic surgery will only get you looking like Courtney Love so a haircut isn't going to touch the sides. Please be realistic about how you look and take onboard your stylists advice ( we really do know best)
If you have ever been into my salon you will know how down to earth we all are, there is no hard sell on products, if you like it you'll buy it next time. I can't bear pushy sales people in salons, you are meant to be able to make your hair look somewhat similar to how I've done it without having to spend a small country's defence budget on recreating it!
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
A Quickie!!
So The Apprentice has stared again, a television show that is fronted by the grumpiest man on TV, Sir Alan Sugar.
Now don't get me wrong I like the programme but the people who applied and got on the show are as mad as a box of frogs, I have never seen or heard so much crap spouted in such a small space of time.(apart from right here right now)
How do you get so much unfounded confidence? Is it a misspend youth, over compensating parents or people just believing their own hype?
As I get older I really have no patience for bullshit, I'm honest (sometimes to my own downfall) and I expect the same from my friends and family, if I don't want to so something anymore,( and it doesn't hurt anyones feelings) well I just won't.
On a lighter note I have had a lovely day off, had my sister round for lunch so I got to fawn over my gorgeous nephew all afternoon ( I really could eat him up ) I upgraded my husbands phone for him that's in my name because I seem to be in charge of everything, now if I ever manage to do a blog about my controlling nature you will think I'm the weirdest person in the world.
It has been budget day and it makes me glad I don't smoke anymore or drink that much, I hope that my tax bills will be a little lighter with the limit being raised, child benefit has no relevance to me at all, I won't be buying a house over £500,000 or am I going to earn over £150,000.
I do think the country is on it's knees so it will be tough for the next couple of years but i still think that we need to learn to manage on what we have rather than always wanting more and more and more again, it's the simple things that often bring more happiness.
That's it for today as the title says it was "A Quickie" and the pleasure was all mine
Now don't get me wrong I like the programme but the people who applied and got on the show are as mad as a box of frogs, I have never seen or heard so much crap spouted in such a small space of time.(apart from right here right now)
How do you get so much unfounded confidence? Is it a misspend youth, over compensating parents or people just believing their own hype?
As I get older I really have no patience for bullshit, I'm honest (sometimes to my own downfall) and I expect the same from my friends and family, if I don't want to so something anymore,( and it doesn't hurt anyones feelings) well I just won't.
On a lighter note I have had a lovely day off, had my sister round for lunch so I got to fawn over my gorgeous nephew all afternoon ( I really could eat him up ) I upgraded my husbands phone for him that's in my name because I seem to be in charge of everything, now if I ever manage to do a blog about my controlling nature you will think I'm the weirdest person in the world.
It has been budget day and it makes me glad I don't smoke anymore or drink that much, I hope that my tax bills will be a little lighter with the limit being raised, child benefit has no relevance to me at all, I won't be buying a house over £500,000 or am I going to earn over £150,000.
I do think the country is on it's knees so it will be tough for the next couple of years but i still think that we need to learn to manage on what we have rather than always wanting more and more and more again, it's the simple things that often bring more happiness.
That's it for today as the title says it was "A Quickie" and the pleasure was all mine
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