So The Apprentice has stared again, a television show that is fronted by the grumpiest man on TV, Sir Alan Sugar.
Now don't get me wrong I like the programme but the people who applied and got on the show are as mad as a box of frogs, I have never seen or heard so much crap spouted in such a small space of time.(apart from right here right now)
How do you get so much unfounded confidence? Is it a misspend youth, over compensating parents or people just believing their own hype?
As I get older I really have no patience for bullshit, I'm honest (sometimes to my own downfall) and I expect the same from my friends and family, if I don't want to so something anymore,( and it doesn't hurt anyones feelings) well I just won't.
On a lighter note I have had a lovely day off, had my sister round for lunch so I got to fawn over my gorgeous nephew all afternoon ( I really could eat him up ) I upgraded my husbands phone for him that's in my name because I seem to be in charge of everything, now if I ever manage to do a blog about my controlling nature you will think I'm the weirdest person in the world.
It has been budget day and it makes me glad I don't smoke anymore or drink that much, I hope that my tax bills will be a little lighter with the limit being raised, child benefit has no relevance to me at all, I won't be buying a house over £500,000 or am I going to earn over £150,000.
I do think the country is on it's knees so it will be tough for the next couple of years but i still think that we need to learn to manage on what we have rather than always wanting more and more and more again, it's the simple things that often bring more happiness.
That's it for today as the title says it was "A Quickie" and the pleasure was all mine
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Why why why?
Why do I have to like food so much?
Why can I not just have a little and leave it at that?
Why did I not just go to fat club tonight and face the damage that I have done to myself this week?
Let's start at the beginning, my mum often tells anyone who will listen how good a baby I was, how I would sleep all night, always smile but (her favourite story by far) she always seems as proud as punch when she tells people how she had to feed me with 2 spoons because if there was the slightest gap in food getting to my mouth I would scream so loudly that car alarms would go off!
Now this just goes to show that I think you are just born greedy it's something that is with you forever. Skinny people just don't get it they think people like me should "just eat least" ( oh thank you for the advice wish I'd thought of that)
I was talking to the lady on the checkout tonight in M&S when I should have been at Weight Watchers ( I was buying everything and anything) and we both agreed that stopping smoking was easier that dieting, I might even suggest that even if you're a heroin addict you get methadone to help with the cravings but I've yet to find a substitute for a cream cake ( don't be putting you foot in the stirrup to get on your high horse I'm joking)
There are a few things you can expect from me
1- The first thing I will think about when I wake up is what to have for breakfast!
2- When I'm eating breakfast I'm already thinking what's for lunch!
3- When I'm having lunch... You see where this is going!
4- My last thought before I go to sleep at night is, what's for breakfast!
I have been successful in the past at losing weight, but never at keeping it off.
Food is my friend, my enemy, my comforter, my silencer, my stress reliever, my reward and ultimately my punishment.
So right now as I'm hating myself for indulging all my gluttonous thoughts earlier I will comfort myself with a large double chocolate chip cookie and try to get back on the straight and narrow tomorrow ( as long as I've eaten all the bad things today)
Why can I not just have a little and leave it at that?
Why did I not just go to fat club tonight and face the damage that I have done to myself this week?
Let's start at the beginning, my mum often tells anyone who will listen how good a baby I was, how I would sleep all night, always smile but (her favourite story by far) she always seems as proud as punch when she tells people how she had to feed me with 2 spoons because if there was the slightest gap in food getting to my mouth I would scream so loudly that car alarms would go off!
Now this just goes to show that I think you are just born greedy it's something that is with you forever. Skinny people just don't get it they think people like me should "just eat least" ( oh thank you for the advice wish I'd thought of that)
I was talking to the lady on the checkout tonight in M&S when I should have been at Weight Watchers ( I was buying everything and anything) and we both agreed that stopping smoking was easier that dieting, I might even suggest that even if you're a heroin addict you get methadone to help with the cravings but I've yet to find a substitute for a cream cake ( don't be putting you foot in the stirrup to get on your high horse I'm joking)
There are a few things you can expect from me
1- The first thing I will think about when I wake up is what to have for breakfast!
2- When I'm eating breakfast I'm already thinking what's for lunch!
3- When I'm having lunch... You see where this is going!
4- My last thought before I go to sleep at night is, what's for breakfast!
I have been successful in the past at losing weight, but never at keeping it off.
Food is my friend, my enemy, my comforter, my silencer, my stress reliever, my reward and ultimately my punishment.
So right now as I'm hating myself for indulging all my gluttonous thoughts earlier I will comfort myself with a large double chocolate chip cookie and try to get back on the straight and narrow tomorrow ( as long as I've eaten all the bad things today)
Monday, 19 March 2012
Who are we?
I think in the 3 days since I have started blogging (thats a long time for me to still be interested in something) I have become a little bit more aware of myself, not in a "I've found out who I am" because I'm not sure anyone really knows 100% who there are, but more in how I act with certain groups of people!
Lets start with what kind of person you are, me I'm a people pleaser with certain friends and certain situations, other times I'm a complete cow. My only saving grace is that my face is an indicator of my mood so if you know me well enough for me to show you the true me you will be able to gauge how to greet me just by looking at my face (full body armour or not)
Other factors in the kind of person I am vary from day to day, these can include random things like how I feel about myself, do I feel fat (always a bad day just to let you know)
Like most people the weather has a big impact, I'm not just talking bad weather, it can include those sneaky little days when you expect it to be cold so you dress in what you think is right only to feel like a polar bear on a caribbean island (the upshot of this is you have normally sweated so much you lose 10% of your body weight so feel thin the next day hence a good mood)
I wish I was the kind of person (if I'm honest I find these types a little weird) who's mood stayed on an even keel, who always had a good word to say and always seemed to have a canny knack of choosing the right clothes on the right day, who can always put others before them selves, but i'm too honest and open and selfish to ever be like that. I think that the even keel people must either be on medication, have a secret life where they are very evil to someone to release their tension or else they are at the top of the karma tree ( I will strive to get there but it will never happen)
Does it make me a bad person that I revel a little when my skinny friends put on weight, that i'm happy to see my gorgeous friend with a huge spot or that one of my oldest friends from school who was the girl who always got the "guy" is still single when I'm happily married.
I think that after actually thinking about this I need to stop worrying about other people and try and figure out who I want to be, but can anyone really change who they are?
Are we not moulded in shape by our parents, by our friends, by our weight, our looks, our morals, our values, by situation, even by fate? Do we see ourselves as others do ( i'm the opposite of an anorexic, I look in the mirror and see skinny instead of the fat that is there) my clients are always saying that i'm always cheerful were as I see myself as permanently grumpy.
Will we ever be happy with who we are and what defines us when we can change who we are to suit our moods.
Ok I've decided that I am fundamentally a good person, and yes I want to be liked but I will always have a little streak in me that does take a little bit of pleasure from some one else's misery!
Lets start with what kind of person you are, me I'm a people pleaser with certain friends and certain situations, other times I'm a complete cow. My only saving grace is that my face is an indicator of my mood so if you know me well enough for me to show you the true me you will be able to gauge how to greet me just by looking at my face (full body armour or not)
Other factors in the kind of person I am vary from day to day, these can include random things like how I feel about myself, do I feel fat (always a bad day just to let you know)
Like most people the weather has a big impact, I'm not just talking bad weather, it can include those sneaky little days when you expect it to be cold so you dress in what you think is right only to feel like a polar bear on a caribbean island (the upshot of this is you have normally sweated so much you lose 10% of your body weight so feel thin the next day hence a good mood)
I wish I was the kind of person (if I'm honest I find these types a little weird) who's mood stayed on an even keel, who always had a good word to say and always seemed to have a canny knack of choosing the right clothes on the right day, who can always put others before them selves, but i'm too honest and open and selfish to ever be like that. I think that the even keel people must either be on medication, have a secret life where they are very evil to someone to release their tension or else they are at the top of the karma tree ( I will strive to get there but it will never happen)
Does it make me a bad person that I revel a little when my skinny friends put on weight, that i'm happy to see my gorgeous friend with a huge spot or that one of my oldest friends from school who was the girl who always got the "guy" is still single when I'm happily married.
I think that after actually thinking about this I need to stop worrying about other people and try and figure out who I want to be, but can anyone really change who they are?
Are we not moulded in shape by our parents, by our friends, by our weight, our looks, our morals, our values, by situation, even by fate? Do we see ourselves as others do ( i'm the opposite of an anorexic, I look in the mirror and see skinny instead of the fat that is there) my clients are always saying that i'm always cheerful were as I see myself as permanently grumpy.
Will we ever be happy with who we are and what defines us when we can change who we are to suit our moods.
Ok I've decided that I am fundamentally a good person, and yes I want to be liked but I will always have a little streak in me that does take a little bit of pleasure from some one else's misery!
Sunday, 18 March 2012
My favourite Subject........ME!!!
Right decided that after my first 2 blogs it's time to share a little more about myself (if you remember it's my favourite subject)
Quick recap, I'm 36, married (10 Years in May) so I think that qualifies me as a *cough* child bride.
I used to smoke like a train but managed to finally give up 18 months ago, still missing them especially when I'm having a drink (in my opinion it's why we have 2 hands 1 for a drink the other for a cigarette)
I have a much older big sister who's nearly 2 years older than me and if people think I'm patronising they should meet her, her most redeeming feature though is my gorgeous nephew who is nearly a year old. Since he was born I have found myself forgiving my sister for a the horrible things she used to do to me as a kid (I said forgiving not forgetting) such as weeing in the bath back in the days when your Mum used to make you share and telling me with such a smug look on her face.
My Mum has been my Dads full time carer for nearly 10 years now, let me explain why.
When my Dad was 48 he had a his first aneurysm in his brain he was taken to hospital and later diagnosed with a AVM (arteriovenous malformation) now after his first bleed in his brain he was basically fine but was told that his avm was around 6cms at the back of his brain and too big to operate on, so it was going to continue to fill with blood a could burst at any time, so my Dad was a ticking time bomb. Now my parents made the choice of not telling me and my sister that the avm will burst, just that it might. I completely agree with that choice it made no difference to the outcome so why worry your children (ignorance really is bliss)
Now I am the ultimate Daddies girl, my Dad could and still can do no wrong in my eyes. No matter where my Dad went when I was young I was right behind him (my nickname was sticking plaster or shadow) My Dad had this wonderful sparkle in his eye when he would tell me white lies like when he told me "my belly button was a screw to hold my bum on and if I put my finger into my belly button and turned it in a special way my bum would fall off" So you can now undertand why I still have a small fear of belly buttons!
Sorry back to what I started, so between 48 and 58 my Dad had another 5 aneurysms each time taking a little of him with each bleed until the 5th august 2002 when I got the dreaded phone call to say come quick your Dads not well. Now this had happened lots of times before but I just knew this time was different. I think back to that day and if I knew it would be the last time I could have a conversation with him I would have made so much of it than I did.
So I spent the 6 months he was in hospital, 4 of them in a coma, just willing him not to die. If I know now how he would spend the remainderof his life I wish he had died 10 years ago when it happened (I know he would want that too) if you have never seen a family memeber having to be cared for you will find what I've just said harsh, if you've cared for a family member you will understand!
So my Mum is amazing she has just turned 60 and having spend all her 50's caring for my Dad she deserves all the credit for bring a star and a big medal and an extra large box of chocolates oh and while I'm at it she might as well have a massive bouquet of flowers as well!
Sorry for bringing you all down but now we've got all that out of the way the only way is up.
Ps I get my sense of very wicked humour from my Dad!!!
Quick recap, I'm 36, married (10 Years in May) so I think that qualifies me as a *cough* child bride.
I used to smoke like a train but managed to finally give up 18 months ago, still missing them especially when I'm having a drink (in my opinion it's why we have 2 hands 1 for a drink the other for a cigarette)
I have a much older big sister who's nearly 2 years older than me and if people think I'm patronising they should meet her, her most redeeming feature though is my gorgeous nephew who is nearly a year old. Since he was born I have found myself forgiving my sister for a the horrible things she used to do to me as a kid (I said forgiving not forgetting) such as weeing in the bath back in the days when your Mum used to make you share and telling me with such a smug look on her face.
My Mum has been my Dads full time carer for nearly 10 years now, let me explain why.
When my Dad was 48 he had a his first aneurysm in his brain he was taken to hospital and later diagnosed with a AVM (arteriovenous malformation) now after his first bleed in his brain he was basically fine but was told that his avm was around 6cms at the back of his brain and too big to operate on, so it was going to continue to fill with blood a could burst at any time, so my Dad was a ticking time bomb. Now my parents made the choice of not telling me and my sister that the avm will burst, just that it might. I completely agree with that choice it made no difference to the outcome so why worry your children (ignorance really is bliss)
Now I am the ultimate Daddies girl, my Dad could and still can do no wrong in my eyes. No matter where my Dad went when I was young I was right behind him (my nickname was sticking plaster or shadow) My Dad had this wonderful sparkle in his eye when he would tell me white lies like when he told me "my belly button was a screw to hold my bum on and if I put my finger into my belly button and turned it in a special way my bum would fall off" So you can now undertand why I still have a small fear of belly buttons!
Sorry back to what I started, so between 48 and 58 my Dad had another 5 aneurysms each time taking a little of him with each bleed until the 5th august 2002 when I got the dreaded phone call to say come quick your Dads not well. Now this had happened lots of times before but I just knew this time was different. I think back to that day and if I knew it would be the last time I could have a conversation with him I would have made so much of it than I did.
So I spent the 6 months he was in hospital, 4 of them in a coma, just willing him not to die. If I know now how he would spend the remainderof his life I wish he had died 10 years ago when it happened (I know he would want that too) if you have never seen a family memeber having to be cared for you will find what I've just said harsh, if you've cared for a family member you will understand!
So my Mum is amazing she has just turned 60 and having spend all her 50's caring for my Dad she deserves all the credit for bring a star and a big medal and an extra large box of chocolates oh and while I'm at it she might as well have a massive bouquet of flowers as well!
Sorry for bringing you all down but now we've got all that out of the way the only way is up.
Ps I get my sense of very wicked humour from my Dad!!!
Friday, 16 March 2012
So this is my very 1st blog and I'm already feeling that I've under achieved as its taken me 36 year and 12 days to finally put my thoughts down on virtual paper.
Let me introduce myself (if you know me personally feel free to skip this) I'm married (sorry boys) mostly happily but like most things some days you like it better than others, I have two gorgeous doggies, own a hairdressing salon,a car and a house, oh yes feeling more like my parents every day. How does time go so quickly, one minute you're leaving school next minute twenty years have passed and I'm still surprised when I meet people who were in my class and my have kids, I know that's what happens but it still shocks me that "Tracey" who bunked off more than she was at school has managed to have a career and be responsible for two children.
That brings me on to me (my favourite subject) If I could have I would probably have had a Citroen Picasso full of kids by now, but nature has a funny sense of humour. Three rounds of IVF makes you look at things from a funny angle, the heartache when all you friends get pregnant at the drop of a hat (or in some cases just their knickers) and they tell you it's your turn next and you believe them. Then when they move on to lapping you in the pregnancy race with number two you start to lose a little faith. I've always found it easier to have another "Barron" friend (let's call her Karen cause it rhymes) to share all your jealousy with over you highly fertile friends, but when she announces even she is pregnant you know all hope has been lost!
Now don't get me wrong my life is fab, I don't need children to make it better but most females have an underlying yearning to procreate and between that and my bloody biological clock ticking away like a time bomb, I'm officially SCREWED!
I'm sure I'm going to hark back to this again so I'll leave it for now.
So this has been a week of highs and lows,
HIGHS......
Getting a lovely big cheque for PPI insurance
My husband starting his fourth franchise
Losing two pounds at fat club
Going to the pub to watch the rugby
LOWS..........
Rats in my attic
So all in all highs outweigh the lows.....result!!
Well done if you managed to read all of that,there might be more at a later stage.
Let me introduce myself (if you know me personally feel free to skip this) I'm married (sorry boys) mostly happily but like most things some days you like it better than others, I have two gorgeous doggies, own a hairdressing salon,a car and a house, oh yes feeling more like my parents every day. How does time go so quickly, one minute you're leaving school next minute twenty years have passed and I'm still surprised when I meet people who were in my class and my have kids, I know that's what happens but it still shocks me that "Tracey" who bunked off more than she was at school has managed to have a career and be responsible for two children.
That brings me on to me (my favourite subject) If I could have I would probably have had a Citroen Picasso full of kids by now, but nature has a funny sense of humour. Three rounds of IVF makes you look at things from a funny angle, the heartache when all you friends get pregnant at the drop of a hat (or in some cases just their knickers) and they tell you it's your turn next and you believe them. Then when they move on to lapping you in the pregnancy race with number two you start to lose a little faith. I've always found it easier to have another "Barron" friend (let's call her Karen cause it rhymes) to share all your jealousy with over you highly fertile friends, but when she announces even she is pregnant you know all hope has been lost!
Now don't get me wrong my life is fab, I don't need children to make it better but most females have an underlying yearning to procreate and between that and my bloody biological clock ticking away like a time bomb, I'm officially SCREWED!
I'm sure I'm going to hark back to this again so I'll leave it for now.
So this has been a week of highs and lows,
HIGHS......
Getting a lovely big cheque for PPI insurance
My husband starting his fourth franchise
Losing two pounds at fat club
Going to the pub to watch the rugby
LOWS..........
Rats in my attic
So all in all highs outweigh the lows.....result!!
Well done if you managed to read all of that,there might be more at a later stage.
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