Why why why?

Why do I have to like food so much?
Why can I not just have a little and leave it at that?
Why did I not just go to fat club tonight and face the damage that I have done to myself this week?

Let's start at the beginning, my mum often tells anyone who will listen how good a baby I was, how I would sleep all night, always smile but (her favourite story by far) she always seems as proud as punch when she tells people how she had to feed me with 2 spoons because if there was the slightest gap in food getting to my mouth I would scream so loudly that car alarms would go off!

Now this just goes to show that I think you are just born greedy it's something that is with you forever. Skinny people just don't get it they think people like me should "just eat least" ( oh thank you for the advice wish I'd thought of that)

I was talking to the lady on the checkout tonight in M&S when I should have been at Weight Watchers ( I was buying everything and anything) and we both agreed that stopping smoking was easier that dieting, I might even suggest that even if you're a heroin addict you get methadone to help with the cravings but I've yet to find a substitute for a cream cake ( don't be putting you foot in the stirrup to get on your high horse I'm joking)

There are a few things you can expect from me

1- The first thing I will think about when I wake up is what to have for breakfast!

2- When I'm eating breakfast I'm already thinking what's for lunch!

3- When I'm having lunch... You see where this is going!

4- My last thought before I go to sleep at night is, what's for breakfast!

I have been successful in the past at losing weight, but never at keeping it off.
Food is my friend, my enemy, my comforter, my silencer, my stress reliever, my reward and ultimately my punishment.

So right now as I'm hating myself for indulging all my gluttonous thoughts earlier I will comfort myself with a large double chocolate chip cookie and try to get back on the straight and narrow tomorrow ( as long as I've eaten all the bad things today)